Grace Baptist Church, Nokomis, IL.

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These first few sermons in our series on marriage are specifically about principles of a godly marriage. Last week was on devotion. We must be devoted to God and to one another. There’s no such thing as halfway devotion. God wants us totally committed to Him, and if we’re going to pursue a godly marriage, we need to be totally committed to our spouse.

This week I’ll be talking about service and sacrifice. Godly marriages are those in which each person in the relationship reflects to the other what Christ did for them. Christ served us and sacrificed Himself for us. And we must do the same.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:3-11)

These instructions were given not primarily to married couples, but to a church, so this whole sermon directly applies to all of us. But I want married couples especially to pay very close attention. Because these instructions are also so very appropriate for married couples. If you can get into the habit of practicing these concepts in your marriage and life, you will have far less conflict, and far more joy in your daily life.

Sin is Selfishness

The Bible says in verse 3, “Do NOTHING from selfish ambition or conceit.” Most people are selfish and they don’t even know it. We’re selfish when we put ourselves first. We’re selfish when we insist that things need to be our own way. We’re selfish when we put our preferences, our comfort, our anything ahead of others.

And I think most sins break down to selfishness in one way or another, because in sin, we’re putting our desires ahead of God’s desires for us. Selfishness gets in the way of our relationship with God, and it gets in the way of our relationships with others. And we all know it. We don’t like to see selfishness in others, we’re quick to judge them for it, yet we continue to be selfish ourselves. Jesus told us, you’ve got to get the log out of your own eye before you try to remove the speck out of someone else’s.

But why are people selfish when they know that it’s a problem? It’s because we’re naturally conceited. We think of ourselves as more important, better, or smarter. And because we think we’re more important, we naturally think our preferences are the right ones, and that others should serve us.

Have This Mind

Instead, serve others, and especially your spouse, in humility (v. 3b). We need to have a certain mindset towards others: considering them more significant. This doesn’t mean we think we’re worthless or worth less than anyone else. God made us, and we all have worth in Christ. Rather, Paul explains what he means by this in the next verse (v. 4).

It’s very natural to take care of our own needs. But so often, we take care of our needs, and then move onto our wants, and then to think that we don’t even really want, but what the heck, we’ve got the extra cash, might as well get them, without a thought about the needs of others. The the Bible tells us not only to look after our own interests, but also the interests of others.

And actually, the Bible isn’t specific about what things of others we should look after. The original language is intentionally vague, saying “let each of you look not only to his own, but also to that of others.” The word “interests” isn’t in the original text. It’s like a place holder for everything we need to look out for for others. Look not only to your own finances, but also to the finances of others. Look not only to your own families, but also to the families of others. Look not only to your own needs, or desires, or feelings, or time, or happiness, but also to those of others.

Last night, I was at our local Rehoboth Baptist Association’s annual conference, and I got to sit by a pastor friend of mine. And I don’t know how we got on the subject, but we were talking about the temperatures that our churches keep their buildings. My friend mentioned that they keep their sanctuary at 70 degrees! We keep ours at 74, and I still hear about how cold it is! I think if we bumped it down to 70, people would start bringing their blankets to church! Well, it turns out that they keep it at 70 degrees because it’s actually written in the church constitution that it must be kept at 70 degrees. Now, the pastor said there’s no strife about the temperature of the church now, but probably at some point in the past, someone or some group in the church complained about how hot or how cold it was, and insisted on their way to the point that it got written into the constitution! Over the summer, I saw another church that actually had lock boxes installed around the thermostat so that only privileged people with the key could change the temperature. I guess that’s not such a bad idea, as long as I’m the only one with the key!

We often get so consumed with ourselves that we do everything to provide for ourselves and to make ourselves happy, but Christ is calling to not only look after ourselves, but to look after others. We need to love people. Truly love them! That means not just wishing people well, but serving them. It means putting the needs of others even before our own. So when you get home exhausted, and your energetic children want to play, you put their desires ahead of your own. So often, we say, “Not right now,” or “Later” and later never comes, because we’ve put our own interests ahead of the interests of others. When we get that way, we’ve got to realize just how much Christ has served and sacrificed for us.

Be Like Jesus

Jesus is our example in all of this. Jesus was and is God! He deserves all praise! All people ought to put Him first, and He certainly has the right to put Himself first. Yet he humbled Himself. He took our form.

Now, when we think of Jesus becoming a man, we think, “That’s no so bad. We’re the crowning work of all God’s creation.” But Jesus left Heaven, where He’s worshiped day and night by all angels and souls, and where He has all control, where He always gets His way, and came to a place where He would be despised and rejected.

It’s like if we were to be born as a blobfish. That’s one of the things that come up when you google, “Most disgusting animal.” The blobfish is a fish rarely seen by humans because it lives deep in the ocean off the coast of Australia, about 2-4,000 feet below sea level. It’s like this gelatinous mass that just kind of exists. It doesn’t have much muscle, and hardly expends any energy to swim because it floats just barely above the ocean floor and lives off of debris that floats in front of it. The blobfish is kind of like the ocean that nobody ever thinks about or cares about. How would you like to be a blobfish?

Jesus was born as one of us, that’s a huge step down for Him! And then He died on the cross for our sin. He didn’t deserve that! He never sinned, yet He took our sin upon Himself and died. At any point along the way, Jesus could have said, “No! I don’t deserve this!” And He would have been right. Yet He served us and sacrificed Himself for us, that we might be saved.

We, on the other hand, don’t even have the right to demand our way, yet we do it all the time. We puff ourselves up. Instead, we ought to be like Christ, who our needs before His own (v. 5).

Notice what God did when Christ had this mindset and followed through (v. 9). Through Jesus humbled Himself, God exalted Him! And when we serve and sacrifice for each other, God will turn our sadness into joy! God loves to give joy to those who humble themselves! A study shows that married couples who sacrifice for each other are happier. You’d think it would be just the opposite, worldly speaking. I mean, if you’re giving up your own desires so that your spouse can have what they want, wouldn’t that make you miserable? But no, couples who sacrifice for one another are happier. Why? Because they truly love one another! It’s not just about what makes themselves feel good, it’s about finding joy in their spouse’s joy.

Motive matters in sacrifice, just as in giving. If you truly love your spouse, you’ll sacrifice for them. If you truly love your church, you’ll sacrifice for them. And if you truly love your Savior, you’ll serve Him and sacrifice for Him, because you have joy in glorifying the God who sacrificed for you.