Grace Baptist Church, Nokomis, IL.

Text:

We are all members of families. We are all either husbands, wives, children, fathers, or mothers. If nothing else, we are all children, for even if our parents have passed away, we can honor our parents by living in such a way.

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:18-21)

Paul first gives instructions to the wives (v. 18). The wife is not to submit to all men, but only to her husband. What does it mean to submit? It’s not telling wives to obey their husbands in all things. In order to understand this, we must ask another question. How is this fitting in the Lord? Because, first, the relationship of the wife to her husband is an illustration of the church’s relationship with Christ. Second, because this is how we were created. To submit, therefore, is to be your husband’s helper.

The feminism movement is largely unbiblical. It defends abortion. It encourages a negative a “men are the enemy” attitude. But Jesus modeled how to treat women with proper respect and equality. Men and women are equal in personhood. Men and women have different roles to fill within the family. When we fulfill our role, we help the other to fulfill their role. Some of the roles become distorted because of sin. God told Eve that her desire would be for her husband, and he would rule over her. Women would have no problem with this, if their husbands would love as they ought.

Paul went on to give instructions to the husbands (v. 19). We men need reminders to love. We assume that unless there’s a major problem, then all is well in our marriage. And even if there is a major problem, we assume that all is well as long as nobody raises their voice. But many marriages fall apart because men fail to show love in a way their wife understands..

We men need reminders to be gentle. We’re trained all our lives to be tough. So we are often critical, and we don’t realize how much our words can hurt. We need this reminder not only for our relationship with our wives, but also with our children (v. 21).

Fathers have good intentions in training their children, but we often insist upon too much. Children, like ourselves, are not going to be perfect. We must be patient with our children. We must constantly encourage them so that they won’t give up. It’s not our job to make our children never mess up. We are to point them to Christ and teach them to have a love for God.

Why doesn’t the mother have instructions? I think it’s because she naturally cares for her children. Her instructions were summed up in the rational of the wives’ commands: do whatever is “fitting in the Lord.”

Children are to obey their parents (v. 20). We are all children. But do we obey parents if they teach us to disobey God? The assumption in this passage is that the parents are believers, and they will not ask us to disobey God. But when there is a conflict, we must always obey God rather than men.

For each group, Paul gives instructions that we tend to rebel against. These are not random instructions. They are built upon Paul’s argument up to this point. Specifically, setting our minds on things above (v. 2). There’s a way that seems right to man, but it leads to death. We are to live according to God’s rules, not our culture’s.

These instructions to families are also built upon what it means to be chosen of God (v. 12). God chose us to bear fruit. God chose us to be separate from the world.

Finally, these instructions show how specifically we can do everything in the name of Jesus (v. 17). Wives are not to submit for the sake of their husband, but because this is what is fitting in the Lord, and thus pleases Christ. Husbands are not to love their wives for the sake of their wives, but because this mirrors Christ’s love for the church, and this glorifies Christ. Children are not to obey their parents in order to make their parents happy, but because this pleases the Lord.

It’s not coincidence that all of this teaching results in instructions for the family. The family is the fundamental unit in society. How we function within the family will be how we also function in society. If we please God in our families, we will please Him outside of our families as well. Does your family build each other up, or tear each other down?

We are all God’s children. We are to obey all of His commandments. God is the perfect Father, and it is our delight to serve Him.